Above or Under

The new barely provokes a reaction
what must
It’s just something wrong with me
I’m optimistic but I’m jaded
I’m considerate but I’m a prick
I’m dedicated but I’m untalented
I’m rarely improving
Constantly self-deprecating
My esteem
Is choking on it’s own thinning steam
And I know that depression’s grinning continues to gleam
my esteem
is green with nausea towards itself
It’s just something wrong with me
I’m a failure yet I continue
I’m deliberate yet I’m an accident
I’m practiced yet I’m naïve
I’m barely improving
My somber self-expression
My floundering facets which further me towards a facility of a faith with the strength of a feather
You’ll never improve me so despite your ability to wait so let’s focus on the weather