Retrofitted Lacking

After looking at the Christmas tree, I realized that everything pure that I have ever experience has been eventually adulterated by others. Halloween, Easter, sports, the sense of christmas joy, my faith in God. My environment has progressively dictated that these things are painful reminders of an naivette I will never again posesss. It's not disheartening, just very sad to come to terms with the concept of the best things in life being taken from you.(Whether by your's or someone else's design) I have even unintentionally sabotaged a relationship in which I was truly loved and I truly loved them....And through my innate selfishness I lost it all. But at the same time it seems that I had to lose the best things in life in order to mature. And also develop a greater appreciation of everything I had and everything I could potentially have if I can just exercise some patience for once in my life. I believe my maturation has had very little to with choice, if anything it has just been a necesary alteration to my previous obstinancy.....I believe I'm becoming obstinant for the rights reasons though now-in an effort to truly become a decent person for many people's sake. I should go complete some homework now.