How Dare I

I am selfless.
The only thing I ask is that
Judgment isn’t passed so fast

I am selfless
The groaning gauze cast that
Befuddles the motions of my arms wont last
As long as my past

I’m hurting, my mind is spurting little trinkets
Of antiquity
That I can no longer identify
my thoughts are leaking onto the busy sidewalks
my sentiments are crumbling little currency that heaven spent
On the circular crowds all around me but facing outward
All this attention
All these connections
And I’ve never felt emptier
Who sent me here?
I ask nothing of anyone-so why is so much expected of me
Not a thing of the cliques
Not a thing of those I’ve befriended
I don’t ask for forgiveness from those
who have ended
Their place and grace in my space
A beam of warm light cross-hatching in diamonds over my closed eyelids
That would be such beauty
Such extravagant, emblazoned, exotic beauty