New Chapter

Blocked-barricaded
thoughts stocked up but still so dated
final freedom jilts the still jaded
And it feels so lambent
As I wake for the sake of positivity
A break I take although people preach of a whole soul
I hope As I drown myself in a liquid kaleidoscope of rope....
The coarse convulsive compulsive nature
of the human handling
of the temporary titillations
of this short solace from death.
what a frozen night out on the town
A small bride in a gown
A stalled dive into the ground
The city is littered is littered with sordid salutations
Rethinking connections only leads to loss
I see slinking confections of those bleeding moss
Hit me til the lit spit spurs spasms of morbid mastications
Build it on construct and innovate the upscale
Fill the strong with aqueducts of funds and create hate for the sluts that wail
In the pockets the gutters the feathered filth of this shattered sailboat that sets sail
Morale’s at an all-time low
My misused modicums of mockery
Pierce every security, comfort, solace that you misunderstand miserably
Mislaid militancy migrated at a memorable rate and you can’t ignore the bitter sea
Sure-have some counsel a few aggravated allusions and a pinch of an enthusiast enshrouded in a clouded doubted conscious state of a monstrous lake which inhales shale and all caught in it’s windpipe dims the light of the fire in his bones as well fall inside the fish we conspire to moan and we fall with bits of nostalgia onto moss-laced misplaced flotsam and as I look at all the dead I wish I had caught them instead I just fought them ponder what all the lead brought them, then I realize the essential eugenics never seem to end, As black swallows the wreckage, I follow everything I let live or give down a gravel trail-driven mad to sail all while inside this leviathan whale, fighting the right to spin another tale, as I rail against order and become a slave to it, as I flail in disorder and my lungs notice the stave you flicked, and laagered lampreys latch onto my Achilles, I haven’t finished many thoughts but I’d say it’s time to seal these.

Realization

A net of disappointment
A poorly planned web
A cruising contusion
Trying to delude myself
But it seems that I’m losing
I only inquire because I want something to inspire
I only retire because I want something to be born
Rather than expire
Unrealistic and idealistic-----perhaps
Stunned by the real shit---that’s been thrown into my lap
Untold unfriendly escapades scalded by a sadistic sun
Elevate me to a new now that doesn’t clamp to my limps
Like a trip

Agression

I’m lookin for a fight tonight
I see crass trash with each glance I pass
Dramatics all around but I just chuckle
Life is for enjoyment-embitterment a hopeless struggle

Nostalgia

Once upon a line
I could express what I felt
Once I was strong and shined
I could test what I felt
Rationalize what I seemed to fully feel
and what fully filled the
Fantastical methodology so magical
The past is a pale full of stale water
Which I wish wouldn’t bother me
The old surfaces and it lusts for regression
The scolding mirth of this is the gusts of a swirling psychosomatic session

Life

For every joke they push
For every toke they take
For every sip down the human drain
Anything to not feel like ourselves
Anything for new
People drifting in and out of our consciousness
We pretend they matter
Until we get fed up
We’ve all just been set up
Our hopes raised so damn high
Just adjust your aplomb
So that you might stun
And maybe you’ll end up fitting in
The muffled muzzle of the gun with the silencer
to convince the gunshot to keep quiet
As it throttles the disputatiousness from your conversation
Hope is unrealistic if you think about it a long
long
hard while
Exasperation embodied-I wander in my head
Thoughts become unwanted detours on a road
Made of past and present homesteads
But now that the dwelling’s selling me-where do I go
Discarded-
Dangerously overlooked
Your dedication is a cop-out
Your expectations an unstoppable drought
Faded and elated hiding in transpontine shack
And the nerves loosely tied within my skin say your on my mind as everything begins to turn black
I was ever so protean, but I am done doting them.

High

A high is everything you want when everything you don’t want is occurring
A high is a welcome sedation that’s feels more real and natural then real life and true perception-the same way some dreams feel more tangible then reality

Thoughts

You push you exert
Until your mind is hurt
You’re convivial-just like me
You concern yourself with what’s tragic and trivial
just like me
Staring at a friends corpse
Elicits threads of their end and a raping remorse
Explicit in my head-bare dividends of scraping discourse
Estranged with how his existence became extinguished
After blazing so strong so long
Auriferous pupils of peripatetic nature
Analyze that the due pills pair me with something that dares to be pathetic
I’m nearly resigned to being an objet trouvé
I’m fear that I’m inclined to be a can of blue aerosol spray
Corroding my surroundings while diminishing myself
Imploding in what the sound brings while envisioning a shelf
All the while pondering the terrifying inevitability of my health